Flirting is a universal activity that can help break the ice and lead to new friendships and romantic relationships. It can also just be a fun way to meet new people or add a little excitement to your day. It isn't limited to clubs and parties; flirting can be a useful skill in everyday life, whether you're browsing your local bookstore or sipping some Starbucks on your lunch break.
Although sometimes it seems that there are very few similarities between genders, some basic guidelines apply to anyone who is about to flirt it up with the opposite sex. The main goal of flirtation is to convey that you are interested in the other person without coming out and saying it (which can invite rejection and embarrassment). But it's worth restating that flirting doesn't have to be romantic at all.
"The Do's And Don'ts"
Do's- Do be prepared.
- This especially applies if you are going somewhere like a party where you know you'll likely be seriously exercising your flirting muscles.
- Make sure you're showered and smelling nice. This seems obvious, but an offensive odor or bad breath really tends to hamper your flirting abilities.
- Wear clothing that reflects your style and fits your body type. Dress yourself so you'll be feeling comfortable and confident.
- This is one of the simplest and best ways to determine whether or not you should initially approach someone.
Do control your body language.
- Body language is everything. The fact is, what you say is not nearly as important as what you do.
- When flirting, it really doesn't matter what you say so much as how you say it. Consequently, having an arsenal of witty pickup lines isn't really necessary or recommended.
- Once you've begun talking, your next challenge is to not bore them to death.
- One of the best things two people can share while getting comfortable with each other is a good laugh. Make them laugh, and make them laugh often!
Do smile.
- Keep the conversation light and positive and don't forget to smile.
- Keep an eye out for warning signs. If you come across signals that this person is not interested in flirting (or even talking) with you, make a swift and immediate exit. There will always be someone else to talk to instead of wasting your time and effort on someone who isn't interested.
- So your flirtatious encounter has been going well... Great! Now would be a great time to ask for a phone number or email address (which can seem more non-confrontational). Otherwise you may miss a golden opportunity to see this person again.
- Do practice.
- After all, practice makes perfect. The more people you flirt with, the better you'll get at knowing what you should be doing and what to look out for. Plus it's easy... You can practice flirting with people every day!
Don't take it too seriously. Remember that most flirting is all in good fun and just a way to meet new people. Most folks you flirt with you'll never even talk to again.
Don't act like a stalker.
- Surprisingly, people don't enjoy being creeped out.
- Flirt at your own risk in the workplace. If you do decide to attempt this, keep it G-rated unless you enjoy a good sexual harassment lawsuit.
- Confidence + humor can be a magical combination when it comes to flirting. Even a little bit of cocky humor can go a long way. But misjudge the balance and you'll come across as arrogant.
- Don't lose sight of the fact that you've just met this person. If you try to gently segue a compliment about the person's sense of style into a comment that they would probably enjoy meeting your parents before you get engaged, you're likely to see that smile fade into a look of horror.
- Don't be rude.
- Most flirting is done in public places, so inevitably others may try to join in on the chatting. Even if you're truly "in the zone" while flirting with someone, don't purposely exclude or shut someone out of the conversation. Acting rude won't impress anybody.
- Some quality conversations can last for a half hour. Some of them can last 10 minutes. If you hit a lull, it's time to decide if it's been going well enough to ask for some contact information, or if it's about time you moved on.
- Don't over do it with the cologne/perfume.
- Yes, you want to smell nice. No, you don't want your skin glistening with aftershave when you approach someone new. A true friend will help you learn the art of scented subtlety.
- Sometimes you just need to cut your losses. If they're playing hard to get when you first meet them, they're probably not playing at all.
- Other people's significant others should be considered off limits. Seems obvious, right?
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